This year has honestly been one of the best years of my life. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually I have conquered a lot this year. I did things I never thought I would do, and I’m honestly damn proud of myself for how far I have come as a person. When I was a little girl I use to have this idea and image of what I wanted to look like, and who I wanted to be. I can finally say now that I like who I am becoming, and when I look in the mirror I smile, because I look exactly how I’ve always wanted to look.
When I talk about looks I’m not talking about physically. I’m talking about my vibe, my actual “look.” I grew up with a mother who always appreciated self-expression and individuality. I had a father who instilled strong work ethic, and to never conform to what others want you to be. I like to think I am becoming the perfect mix of the both of them.
Last year when I started the blog, I was a mix of emotions and I can honestly say that I am in such a better place this time around, so for that I am grateful. Growth is a steady process, and with growth comes lessons and revelations, so I thought I’d share some of the biggest things that this year has taught me, along with some personal experiences of my own.
Not Everyone You Start The Journey With, Is Going To Meet You At The Finish Line.
As you get older, this revelation becomes more and more apparent and true. It’s unfortunate and sometimes sad, but not every relationship you have is supposed to be forever, not everyone is going to make it. Some friendships might fail or wither away, some relationships might end, and honestly that’s OK. As you grow as a person, you will start to see different things in people, and you might realize certain people and characteristics isn’t what you want in your realm. Also, the older you get the less tolerance you have for bullshit. When I was younger I had this urge to fight for every friendship, and as I get older I stopped stressing over people. I’m not going to argue with you, I’ll just leave you alone. If I have made the steps to mend and repair the relationship, and you still want to carry it… shall be it. At the end of the day, THE SHOW MUST GO ON, and it will … with or without you.
When the past comes to pay you a visit, think about it before you open the door
” Fool me one time shame on you… Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you… Fool me three times … ”
-J.Cole lyrics-No Role Modelz.
There is an exception to every rule. Yes I do believe that life goes on, and you should stop the show for no one. However, there are some people in our lives that we can’t imagine life without. Whether it is an old flame, an old friend, etc., there are many times when the past comes and pays us a visit. I always think its God’s way of testing us and seeing how far we have come as a person. I know I have had some situations this year where some people have paid me an unexpected visit back in my life, and it actually was a pleasant surprise. You have to decide who is worth rekindling and repair, and who is suppose to be left in the dust. There have been people in my life that have hurt me, and left me disappointed and let down. I always thought when and if those people tried to resurface back in my life, I would be cold, and slay them, because of the pain they had caused me. Prayer changes things, and time heals all wounds. I can honestly say that I had no desire to be mean or rude to the people who had once hurt me. Whether they came back in my life to apologize or just clear the air… it was all good, and nothing but love. Not forgiving people or holding a grudge, is only going to harm/hurt you in the end. Why have that on your heart? I have found it to be so much more gratifying to just have good vibes and no beef. Be better, not bitter. The bigger person always wins in the end. Always.
Know Your Worth.
I can’t stress this enough. No one is going to look out for you, like you will. You have to be your own hype man, your own cheerleader, your own alliance, and confidant. Once you get in touch with your own worth, life really does get better. I don’t put up with the same bullshit I use to in relationships. You know why? Because I know I deserve better. I don’t put up with nasty people at work or unpleasant work environments. You know why? Because I don’t have to. I know who I am, and I believe in what I bring to any and every table. Therefore the days of me putting up with unnecessary crap… are long gone, and over.
Don’t Be Annoyed by Children. Be Flattered.
“When someone wants to know your business, tell them to invest in it.”
– Karen Civil.
I use to be the type of person that would waste no time telling someone off. This year I encountered some situations that definitely tested my growth as a person. When someone has their friends trying to follow you on your social media accounts… Yes, that is annoying. Or if people you have never even spoken to, are stalking all of your social media accounts, reading your blog like its their own diary, sharing your stuff, and popping up in your notifications…Yes that is incredibly aggravating. Years ago I would have given such annoying people a piece of my mind, some mouth, and probably would have suggested to meet them some where lol.
However, you get to a certain age where you realize…some people aren’t even worth a reaction. At the end of the day, I really didn’t care for the people that were trying so hard to get my attention, yea it was annoying but I really didn’t care for any of them. Therefore there was no need to acknowledge their efforts. The end.
When people go out of their way to figure out what you’re doing, or take strides to sneak on your social media accounts, etc. Be flattered. That means you’re interesting, captivating, and there’s something about you that is alluring… even to complete strangers! When you look at it that way, doesn’t sound so bad does it? As long as it’s not dangerous, or legit stalking… what the heck…
Listen To What You Asked For.
People will ask God for help, signs and guidance with a situation, then ignore all the signs and revelations God gives them when the truth starts to hurt.
God can’t help you, if you aren’t ready and willing to help yourself.
We often ask for help and if it’s not what we want to hear, or see … all the sudden we act like we didn’t get the message.
We will ask for happiness, yet stay with a person that He has shown us over and over again doesn’t care about the relationship.
We will ask for better opportunities to further us in life, and then when those opportunities present themselves, we let them slip through our hands.
You can’t ask for things, and then decide you aren’t going to listen because it’s not what or how you want it to be.
He isn’t going to bless you with a good man or woman, if you don’t even have the good enough sense to help yourself out. How can you expect to be blessed with a healthy mature adult relationship, when you don’t even have the healthy mature adult mindset to leave situations that have left you unhappy and stunted in growth?
The moment you get rid of the toxicity in your life, you will be amazed at what starts to happen… the universe will almost instantly start to work in your favor. There are some people that are sincerely blocking your blessings. Get rid of them, and watch how quick you start to flourish.
Everyone’s Family is Dysfunctional. Its ok.
” A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it. “
-Mary Karr, The Liars’ Club
This year I really learned how to roll with the punches. Unfortunately some of those punches can come from our family. Situations with family can sometimes be like a two-headed sword. They are the people who are the closest to us, and because of that they are the people who can hurt us the most. At the end of the day, they are your family, and unlike other relationships… you really can’t do anything about it. They get on your nerves? That’s fine, let’s be honest … you probably do some things that annoy them as well. Try your hardest to make the relationships with them work, after all…you all are stuck with one another.
Invest In Yourself.
Of course, college is great. However, it is only great if you are getting educated in a field you want to pursue or in something that can further your career. If you suddenly have a passion to become a chef, take some culinary classes. Want to start you own fitness brand? Educate yourself on how to get that started. My point is educating yourself so you can make money doing what you want. Life is crazy, and you never know where you will end up. Who knew 4 years after obtaining my bachelors I would be getting a Masters in Mass Communication, and seeking another degree in graphics? I want to get as far as I can in the ventures I started, so I have to educate myself as much as I can. Want to start an online boutique? Start taking some sewing, design, merchandising classes, and reading up on how to start your own store online. Whatever you want to do, educate yourself, know as much as you need to know, so you can be equipped, and perfect your craft.
Have Enough Faith in Yourself to Do Something Crazy.
“Would you believe in what you believe in, if you were the only one who believed it?”
This year was the first year that I solely relied on my business(es) for income. I know it probably sounds crazy to leave a job and just go out and do your own thing, but that’s what I did and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. I was a nervous wreck when I made the leap to work for myself. A year later I have a growing business, and my blog is bringing in income of its own. Who would have thought?
You only get one life, so why not live it the way you’ve always imagined? Want to create a fitness blog or YouTube channel? Go for it. Create your own business, make a job for yourself, invent something, etc. You’ve been blessed with an amazing spirit and an innovative mind… use it.
Do Something Random and Stick To It.
In one of my previous posts titled … Feed Your Mental; I had written about taking on something new to add to your life. Whether it be a new hobby, or trying something for the first time… it’s always nice to bring something fresh to the table. Recently I took on a betta fish and got into this whole aquarium life. We went from one betta in a bowel, to Bompton (yes, that is my betta fish’s name) to 4 other fish in a 10-gallon aquarium. Who knew I would actually love the hobby and am pretty stoked with my progress in this whole aquatic situation lol. I also took some guitar lessons this year, and tried sticking to my Spanish lessons via Rosetta Stone. Life is all about expanding oneself, and exploring. Why not take the time to add new things to your life, and new experiences? Whether it is big or small, like getting a pet, to traveling, or knocking things off your bucket list. Make it happen.
Be True To Yourself.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
This just comes down to being who you are, and staying that way. Often times we can get wrapped up in a situation or scenario and lose ourselves. You may not dye your hair a certain color, or try a crazy new hairstyle because you are worried about what someone may think. You might have been thinking about switching up your style, but got discouraged because someone close to you said something that you didn’t like, OR maybe you are comfortable and happy with the way you look but you have someone in your ear that suggests you do something different. My point is… fuck ’em. Be who you are, and stick to what you want. Live for you, when you start living for other people… that’s when things get exhausting. Life is way sweeter when you are the person YOU actually want to be.
Take Care Of Your Temple.
The only thing day in and day out we have to worry about… is ourselves. Your body composes everything you need to live a healthy, flourishing, and fulfilled life. Eat right, and stay in shape so you can live longer, and dodge various health issues. Feed your mental, and nurture your mind. There’s nothing wrong with picking up a book to read every once in awhile, taking some classes, or just doing something you enjoy. Your mind and mental state is crucial and critical for every day success. If your head isn’t right, nothing else is going to be. The mental has to always be on a point, we are truly nothing without it. Take some time to tap into your spiritual side, whatever that may be for you. Spiritual fulfillment is something we all need, and it is our faith that gets us through the hard days. Whatever you believe it, whichever belief you choose to follow makes sure you have a relationship with that power.
Just take care of yourself. You can’t take care of anyone else, until you have yourself together. You can’t love anyone, until you love you. You are a priority. Your sanity, happiness, health and everything else should be your number one objective. Once all of that starts to come together, everything else will.
… Of course, I have learned several lessons over the year, but these were just the few that really resonated with me. This year has sincerely been one of the best years of my life. I credit my newfound happiness, and everything wonderful in my life to God and growth. I’m happy and am eagerly awaiting next year.
So here’s to the New Year. I have a feeling it’s going to be a good one. I’m claiming it already.
See y’all in 2016