I thought it be nice to do a course evaluation on my life from a quarter of a century standpoint. I’m still in my twenties, and the lessons are endless so I’m positive I will be sharing more lessons with you all as time goes on. I was at dinner last night with a few friends and we were all talking about life. Life is always a wonderful concept to discuss, I mean whats not to discuss? The conversation from last night inspired this post. I wanted to share some knowledge that age has thrust upon me. I’m curious to see if you guys agree.
1. Sometimes life sucks. You can’t always get what you want and you won’t. It’s just the way of the world. Life isn’t fair, and sometimes shitty things are going to happen. Things are going to happen that you didn’t plan, some things are going to happen that you didn’t want. Most importantly some things are just out of your control. You have to roll with the punches. It happens. Get over it, and prepare to suit up for another day.
2. Tough Times Don’t Last; Tough People Do. Things will happen to you that’s out of your control. You will encounter some tough times, that’s life. However, how you handle that time speaks about your character. How you move on and pick yourself up only adds to your story.
3. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. This is a chinese proverb that I read years ago. I loved it so much that I even tattooed it down my spine(we will talk about this later). Anyways, the point of that quote is one of my favorites. Hands down. Pain is inevitable. Pain happens, things are going to hurt you… we can’t avoid pain. HOWEVER, you can avoid a situation that continues to cause you pain. If you suffer that is solely because of your own doing. Have a douche boyfriend that keeps cheating or disappointing you? That hurts and yes when you find out that is painful. If you continue to go back to the douche boyfriend, and continue to endure the hurt, and humiliation… you now are choosing to suffer. I used this example from my own personal experience. Continuing to stay in a situation that makes you unhappy is you choosing to suffer. You control your environment. You can’t control the learning lesson of pain, but you can control what foolishness you decide to entertain.
4. Not everything cool, deserves to get tattooed on your body. Yes I love the Chinese proverb quote, but I’m not sure if it deserved to get tattooed on my body. Then I had the nerve to put it in a stupid spot. The quote is down my spine, I can’t even read it. I was thinking about just getting a cover up and moving the quote elsewhere where I can see it. Who knows. My point is that tattoos are permanent and you should think about what you are going to look like in 40 years. I loved the idea of having my whole back done a few years ago. Now I think about this huge mural being in my future family pictures if I decide to wear a strapless dress. What you think is awesome at 21, you might not think is awesome at 35. Just be mindful. I have some tattoos that I love, and some tattoos, that I wish I would’ve consulted with my mother before getting them done. Also, please go to a professional shop. Cheaper isn’t always better. The tattoos I got done in a basement or backyard definitely look a lot different from the ones I received in a shop. Thank God for cover ups. That is all I’m going to say.
5. When people show you who they really are… BELIEVE THEM. Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we give people who continue to disappoint us a bazillion chances? If someone has proven to be a liar, or a thief, hell, just an all around asshole… accept it. Yes people can change, but if you continue to get the same results from the same person, evaluate that. Life isn’t a movie, we are not all actors. They aren’t acting, they are displaying character traits that you need to take notice of. If you have a friend that has proven to be a backstabber, believe that she’s a backstabber. Have a homie that has proven to be a jealous envious snake? Well, he’s more than likely a snake. If someone can be evil to Sally, what makes you think they won’t do the same to you? Stop making exceptions for people.
6. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you are supposed to get married. We’ve all been here before. Not every relationship is supposed to last forever, and that’s real. We would all like to have the perfect relationship and ride off into the sunset with the person of our dreams but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way… and its ok. Unfortunately sometimes we receive heartbreak, and sometimes heartbreak might occur more than once. You might date a few people before you find the love of your life. Go into everything with optimism, and put your best foot forward. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. Will it hurt? Absolutely. Will you cry? Probably so. Theres nothing that some good friends, comfort food and wine (if you are of age) can’t fix. Yes today it might seem like the world has ended. The sun might not be as bright, the grass might not be as green and the birds may have stopped chirping… it may look gloomy right now. But I promise life will go on, and you will meet someone who makes you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
7. Mom is always right. Even at 26 this kills me to even admit, but it’s so true. Mom always knows best. That friend of yours she doesn’t trust, that boyfriend/girlfriend she doesn’t like,that advice she gave you … just take her word on it. I promise you, more than half of my painful experiences in life could have been avoided had I just listened to my mother in the beginning.
8. You don’t need the whole world to like you. The older I get the less I need an approval rate from people. This took time, but trust me you will soon not even care about popularity. You can’t put popularity on a résumé or cover letter. No one is ever going to ask you how popular you were in high school or college, or what lunch table you sat at. No one cares. These social circles don’t define you. I read a quote not to long ago and it said, “If you are liked by everyone, you aren’t being real enough.” That quote is so real. If you are people pleasing, you probably aren’t being real. Chances are if you are true to yourself, and honest, you will more than likely develop a few haters along the way. Now I’m not saying to be a complete jerk. You need proper communication skills in life, and networking skills are vital to success. I’m saying that if you have this deep desire to be liked by everyone… let it go. You can’t win ’em all. If you try to please everyone in life you’ll end up having a meltdown or develop an ulcer. Spare yourself the distraught.
9. All you need is a few close friends. Friends make the world go around. You don’t need a whole tribe, you just need a few people who get you, support you, understand you, and sincerely love you. Good friends make every situation a little sweeter. Friends are key to life survival.
10. You are as awesome as you think you are. Remember when you were a little kid, and you just oozed confidence? You were that princess , or you were that superhero. From the ages of 2-8 yrs of age, I wore catsuits. My mother use to go to Party City after the Halloween season was over and stock up on costumes. I wasn’t interested in wearing clothes, I wanted to be any species of feline. My point is I was confident. I had enough nerve to walk around in a catsuit day in and day out. I wasn’t concerned with who saw me, or what people thought. I didn’t care who laughed or looked at me. I was confident in my outfit, I was happy with my face paint, and I was comfortable walking on all fours. If that isn’t confidence, I don’t know what is. As we get older, we get so judgmental of ourselves. We worry too much about how we are perceived, how we will be perceived. Be confident. Yes there will always be someone prettier/more handsome, someone smarter, or younger, skinner or taller. There will always be someone who you may think has it all. Chances are they don’t. You have to hold onto the fact that there will never be another you. Life is too short to be anybody but yourself. Embrace yourself, you are one of a kind and you have to believe that.
11. The last and final thing I’m going to touch on is a lesson that is often the easiest one to forget. Be a pleasant person. Karma is real, and you don’t get rewards in life for being mean and nasty to other people. Be the person you would want to be around. Become the person you want to attract in the future. Be kind to people, help others out, and I know it may be hard to believe (especially in you 20’s) but the world really doesn’t revolve around you. Life is smoother when you are good to other people. There may be somedays you have an attitude, but ultimately always remember to just be nice. Trust me, it will get you so much further in life.
So there you have it. I’m glad I could share some of my reflection with you all. What do you guys think? What are some lessons that your 20’s has taught you? I would love to hear about them!